Thank you Job! I don’t remember the exact day, but I know it was around my D soon to be 20 tomorrow’s bday. I’ll be busy. She’s having friends over tonight, birthday tomorrow, and my dad’s for a late Christmas Sunday. My D19 wants to get our nails done together on Monday before she heads back to school. That’s always a special thing to do with her. I’ll miss her when she’s goes back.
There has been a lot of gratitude from me the past several months. Even the little things. He’s even started to mirror that, which I didn’t know was a thing so it was a little shocking.
I feel like I took a step back mentally this week. Not with my h, he was super supportive. My b had surgery and for whatever reason brought up another layer to work through regarding him. Things I thought I was long past. So maybe not a step back maybe just another piece of my crazy puzzle that I’ve found that I’ll be better off working through.
Being as patient as possible, being the best me I can…for me.
Last night my Mom was released from the ER. A prescription and a follow up are needed. Hopefully her problems/symptoms will subside.
We had a nice late night drive home as the hospital we were sent to was 50 minutes away. Inky black with no moon nor stars due to overcast. On the way home we saw a moose! It was standing on the right hand shoulder of the two lane highway. We passed by it by only feet. What a big animal.
Anyhow, Mom’s ok. Not that it’s not serious; just under control is all.
It is wonderful to hear from you! I am so very happy to hear your life is going so well. Congratulations on the self-employment and love life. You are definitely a success story!
Originally Posted by Eagle3
But the main reason I’m writing is to give you an update about my EX-MLC’er. I’m not doing this so much for myself, but rather to give hope to those who find their way here, and to confirm that the MLC script, as it is described here, is COMPLETELY accurate.
Well said! Yes, MLC does seem to follow a similarly of script; though the timelines can and do vary greatly.
I believe plenty of folks will find comfort and hope within what you’ve shared. MLC is an unbelievable thing until you actually see it. For folks being first introduced to this wild bizarre ride, stories such as your’s are a godsend.
I am glad to see that XH is waking up. Six years of fog and confusion. It does sound like he is facing what he’s done, which is such positive progress. I hope he continues forward and repairs/fosters good relationship with the kids.
I am proud of you Eagle. You survived and thrived a very difficult journey.
Christmas shopping with each child took up much of my spare time in the last weeks... and finding a Christmas tree LOL... The four of us went one evening to our usual supply spot on the 10th. And they had already closed up shop. What! I checked around for fresh trees, and ALL the sellers were closing up the next day. I grabbed a nice one, one of the last five, after leaving work early the next day. Whew!
It was very quiet in my home Christmas Eve. For just a bit. D20, D18, S14 drove over to XWs place.
They came back in just a couple hours.
Then it was busy/noisy again!
I considered Christmas in my home a happy success when the living room floor was coved with bits of wrapping paper strewn everywhere. Ha!
It’s Oh So Quiet - Björk
Shhhh, shhhh
It's oh, so quiet Shhhh, shhhh It's oh, so still Shhhh, shhhh You're all alone Shhhh, shhhh And so peaceful until...
Ha! Such energy! And joy! She practically squeaks with it. Well, the rest of that song ... maybe someday again. Not rushing.
education continues and a friend comments
Still continuing my ... education ... in dealing with the aftermath ... internal and external. This months audiobooks:
#1 The Journy from Abandonment to Healing - Susan Anderson
Recommended in one thread or another here. It was good. I found it as I find much therapy, coming from female/feminine lens.
#2 Man's Search for Meaning - Viktor E. Frankl
Recommended recently in a chat with a female friend from high school. She sent me a Happy Birthday on Facebook and we just kept chatting over the next few days. She is now a therapist. She made some bad choices with men back then which I advised against. Fifteen years later she said, "you were right and I didn't value or understand your qualities back then." Anyway, catching up on recent events...she was shocked.
Insights from her POV as therapist and family friend -
MLC - "Or another name to be blunt and honest is peri menopause or menopause. I see a lot of women in that stage of life at work and it seems to change things. A lot of divorces happen in this period of time."
Couples therapy - "Yea I have told couples before that we should end therapy if there are any third parties involved."
On both parents being in kids lives - "Yes I blocked my ex from seeing our daughter and truthfully it back fired on me. Not something I would repeat. ... Your dad told me years ago I needed to let P be involved. I didn’t want to hear it at the time but I see the wisdom in it now. M resents what I did and her Dad is partially back in her life. They are trying to figure it out."
On OM - "They always say they will leave their wife for you….. it usually means nothing and who wants someone with so little integrity. Usually to believe all that your in a dark place to begin with. With my uncle G he did leave his wife P and he did stay with OW for years until he died. But that is a rare case and the ripple effects on the family has been really hard."
On XW phrasing and approaching things oddly - "As a woman sometimes things are said it a certain way to get a reaction or to make it seem like the other person is the aggressor. Maybe a challenge or maybe a mindset….."
I chat while listening to the appropriate title ... and awesome groove
Crétin de terrien - The Architect, N'Zeng *roughly translates as "morons of the earth" Combo of Hip Hop, Jazz, Electro, Soul, Funk
Missing lyrics...though AI says samples of James Brown's "Make It Funky" and archival interview with René Barjavel.
#3 The Wonder of Boys - Michael Gurian
On my shelf for a while but listened in the audiobook form. Not really new to me but at least the first 2/3 were good to go through. Figuring out ways to grow S14 through his teen years. Anyone have other recommendations on boys?
another friend
This friend ... well we had some on/off romantic interests in high school/college years, though never fully connected at the same time/place. That bond ... remains in a muted way. I had stopped almost all communications with her and any other women from any romantic past out of devotion and respect for my M and to XW. I started a couple of short chats with her this fall, just to say hi, and thanks for offering last year, a listening ear for anything. She's had her own set of bad choices and difficulties. On one of her sons, "his father hasn't been in his life since 2013 and owes $75k in child support."
I received a message Christmas Eve from her. She was alone binging Netflix "Younger." A rough month she says. We chat generalities and a few specifics on how we cope over the next hour plus.
G, "Eyes on the destination, not so much on the bits of shrapnel that occasionally ricochet around the insides."
Friend, "Sometimes shrapnel does feel extra sharp on holidays"
G, "Agreed"
..... more conversation
Friend, "Thank you for chatting with me"
Oh.
going inside
Originally Posted by DnJ
Go inside.
Don’t stand out in the cold. Go inside.
I think, in a way, chatting with these two women, each with their own troubles and sorrows.. And joys of course
is a form of going inside.
Reaching out. Starting conversations. Being actually interested in their life and wellbeing.
When someone reaches out, sees you, and cares.
I know how that feels to receive.
I thought about it ... and reached out to ~20 others to wish them a Merry Christmas.
Now for in person things ... gotta pick people local that! LOL. AND not get sick over Christmas break. Nothing serious, but I spent most of the last three days in bed snoozing with chills and stomach pains.
Still, it was a beautiful day today.
g
It’s a Beautiful Day Today - Robert Plant from the album Saving Grace
Dawn to dawn a lifetime The birds sing and day's begun The heavens will shine from dawn to dusk With golden rays of sun
People on their way Beginning a brand new day I'd rather hearing people say "It's a beautiful day today"
