With the forum a bit, but also with life. Husband moved out three weeks ago now. He doesn't know why and has since been for one counselling session. He seemed to think that the counsellor would tell him why he had decided to leave (16 years married). I hadn't realised anything was wrong, I just thought he was quiet because he was tired. I now think he is stressed and possibly depressed and running away - from me, though I'm fairly confident it's not me that's the primary cause. I don't know how the counselling session went - we have minimal contact right now - or whether he is going back for more. I read Michele's book and 'the last resort' made sense - I had stopped chasing fairly quickly because it clearly wasn't useful. It's SO HARD though, the waiting and wondering. I have to read that bit of the book every day to try to squash the urge to go and knock on the door of his new flat. I feel like I need to keep myself in his mind or he'll just carry on with his plan to start over without me. Any support gratefully received, especially if anyone else has been through a similar weird one with no clear reason!! Thanks in advance
Iolieta, let me highlight the "new perfume" idea. Ready2Change encouraged a new cologne for me. I went out and found something I liked. I don't even know if my W has noticed as she is not around me much. But it really boosts my mood every time I put it on. Scent is really tied to memories. My old cologne reminds me of our dates, etc. I would only wear it on special occasions, nights out, so I actually hate it right now. The new scent is usually an immediate mood-boost, and it let's me get started and working on other healthy activities with a better attitude.
Everything that works is counter-intuitive. You attract him back by not trying to attract him back.
Become the sexiest version of yourself for YOU. It will make you feel better. When you do interact with him, show him what he is missing out on.
New perfume, new stylish clothes, makeup/hair ect. Completely positive attitude. Act as if this is the best thing that has happened to you. You are now free.
