Changes I've made - Zero contact with W except for "business" activities. No pursuing, no R talk. - Regular workouts (lifting 3 days a week) - Wardrobe updates - Two new pairs of glasses, one of which has received multiple compliments, including from unknown women - New scent - Reigniting friendships - Grief recovery support class - GAL: Going to games with friends, planetarium, hiking, Thursday night agreement with good friend to meet up after my grief class - Firing up house projects - Re-visiting "no more mr nice guy". I do think I grew in that area before and during my current R with W (after D#1). Need to grow more outside of that R, especially at work. - No alcohol for the time being, until I've at least emotionally recovered. No set timeline, but as a reference, at least another 2-3 months.
Changes I want to make - As I recover emotionally and I'm less of a disaster, put more focus back into my children when I have them - Set boundaries with my mom, and eventually move off of our street (no timeline right now - lots of house work and $$$ needed to do so) - Add cardio workouts on days I don't lift (would like to workout 6 days a week) - Improve diet (cut out sugar most days of the week, more protein/veggies than carbs). Replace dessert with protein shake - Continue updating wardrobe - Make the house "mine". Replacing some things she took. Framing and hanging concert posters I've had in my closet. Rearranging some furniture. - Update beard style. Color? new trim style? - Keep lifting and start growing. - Continue healthy grieving process - No or severely limited contact with in-laws for the remainder of DB process - No more binge drinking - Get a vasectomy
I know Iām headed in the right direction. Thank you, DnJ
Everything you need to do is counter intuitive. You get her back by not trying to get her back. Set her free. You do not want to get put in the friend zone. That is most guys number one issue. She is your lover, or nothing. Your behavior is what will get you what you want. You do not want to be with a woman who does not want to be with you. You do not share your woman with other men. You respect her decisions even if you disagree with them.
