See this is why I don’t get why people here we’ll one less hate 3% man. It gives a complete roadmap i how to handle dating.
I let G handle this one.
I'll add my thoughts on the book.
Unfortunately the book is written by a complete a**hole. Anyone who refers to women as cumdumpsters is a fkwit of the highest order. His opinions on guns I don't agree with (but then I'm not American), and he is never wrong and just an all round sh!t bloke.
That said, what the book teaches does work. And I agree with LH that they aren't rules, they are guidelines/mindset. The book basically says have a life (GAL), don't make one women your everything when you don't really know her, have an abundance mentality, do no waste your time on anyone who does not show you interest in return, don't be needy, be confident and fun and cheeky.
I don't see any of that mindset being a bad thing, unfortunately it is good material presented by a horrible person.
Yes, we had a date Saturday. Simple dinner, had a good time. Tonight, I went to her house, killed two bottles of wine. Lots of discovery. She has been a teacher to some incredible peoples children we watch in movies and tv for several years. Very smart, very fun person to be with. Italian, NY/and Boston, loves to cook.. So much personality, a joy to be around. Loves traveling, wine and family. Divorced 4 years ago, no kids due to medical issues.. Self sufficient, no boat though, lol. Money is not the issue, she is just great company right now, and I think we will have more dates to come.
Or maybe neither of them were feeling it since they’ve known each other in a neighbor capacity so this is a new role to explore. Maybe they were both feeling it and too shy to move. Who knows? Mach, good for you for putting yourself out there. Everyone has to move at the pace they feel good about and not everyone wants to rush to the lightning round. Sounds like you did fine and enjoyed yourself and if so and you are interested, see her again. Odds are, assuming she’s a mature and rational grown woman, she’ll give you plenty of signals when she is ready. You should just be enjoying the experience at this time and not feeling pressure for anything more. Your timeline is your timeline so don’t compare it to anyone else’s.
So is there a poll going as to when I will do something with this lady? When she or I initiate anything, well, thats when it will happen. But, I am pretty sure this weekend will be good, as we are doing dinner at her house, and an old movie ( we were getting nostalgic on movies the other day).
There's no prescribed absolute timeline, so sure don't rush things if you're not ready, but the overall point is don't sit back and be timid for too long either. Else risk getting friend-zoned. If you've been on a few dates and you're going to each others houses for dinner and a bottle or two of wine, that certainly sounds like a "kiss the girl" situation.
Our divorce was amicable. I think it is self centered because she doesnt deserve a cold shoulder, attitude due to me not wanting to see her. I say that, because I wont be the guy I was, which was full of banter, laughing with her and carrying on normal conversations. I will be distant.
Even if the D was amicable there are still going to be hurt feelings, jealously, doubts...etc. If you have to protect yourself emotionally a bit at first that's completely understandable. My guess is it'll get easier over time.
Originally Posted by LH19
This thing with the neighbor, is it a friendship or the building of a relationship?
Originally Posted by Mach40
Lady and I are doing well. I cant afford to get sick, do to my career.. So, we are just doing non physical stuff for now. We are flirting, touching etc, and building up. I think once this cold is completely gone, we will go further faster....
Have you kissed yet? Passionately? I share LH's question (and maybe concern) that this is starting to seem platonic. Make sure to escalate and be direct if you're looking for more.
Originally Posted by Mach40
We are both foodies and travelers, so we have been talking about doing things together that involves both. Really liking her.
Shared interests are good.
Originally Posted by Mach40
Oh, and she has a Masters in business, and a forensic degree ( hard field to get into, she tried, didnt work out).
Nothing wrong with a little delayed gratification. When I first started talking to CMM online, he had to wait a few weeks before we could meet because I was super busy and traveling out of town for a medical conference. I think the delay really ratcheted up his interest even though I wasn’t trying to play hard to get. I just wasn’t available at that moment.
Honestly, I’m not a germaphobe. I’m believe we need a level of exposure, which is why I have a solid immune system and don’t even get a cold. However, I do know from my profession that another way to avoid not getting sick is to not swap droplets directly with someone who is actively sick. That’s just some basic science. Looks like he spends time with her while she is sick, there isn’t any mouth on mouth contact. Which is smart.
Mach sounds like it went well. Never as bad as you anticipate. I think your ex is genuinely happy for you. That’s a sign she has moved on. You should too. Take the compliment and keep moving forward.
