Divorcebusting.com  |  Contact      
Thread Like Summary
bttrfly, job, Mach40, Traveler
Total Likes: 15
Original Post (Thread Starter)
#2938474 10/19/2022 2:24 AM
by Ginger1
Ginger1
For about 2 weeks now I have written a whole post and deleted it multiple times. As I start this, there is a strong possibility I’ll delete it again. This place has always served as a good journal for me. A good place to talk about some stuff I like to share at the end of the day or what’s going through my mind. I will never discount that from the olden days here. Yes, most have left because they found new love or “moved on” . Yes, I have thoroughly moved on in so many ways. I haven’t found new love, but I’m not tied to my divorce anymore. I still come here maybe because I’m my very certain world I have always known this has been a constant. And of course I didn’t want to come back and know that the first thing I would hear is the “she never follows through and always says she’s leaving” I also know if I am going to put my stuff on here I have to take what comes with that. But for now. I’m just going to journal.

I started my new position. The first week or so had me freaked out. Lots of politics, some “bullying” and crazy stuff. By week 3 I was totally on my own. My boss above me went on vacation and the one who was training me moved to FL. I became in charge just like for a week. I nailed it, if I might say so myself. I also gained the trust and respect of my staff. It’s a hard job for sure and it’s a 24/7 job. I deal with people above me and below me and a lot of personalities. But it is a strength of mine. I’ve went to a few work related events outside of work that really helped me get to know my staff. I’ve been getting nothing but positive feed back. Today we were really short handed. When I sent out todays assignment I sent a separate email validating and ensuring I here to help them and I appreciate their hard work and flexibility. I got a separate email from from one of my staff saying “ I just had to let you know that was one of the nicest emails since I’ve worked here that I ever received regarding call outs, thanks!” It my day. I know when I was in their position what I valued was that I was supported for my efforts and recognized. Again, not an easy job but exactly what I needed. And my role here is this big hospital ( #1 hospital in my state) wouldn’t have been the same at my other hospital. We also got a 4% raise across the board which I got on top of my 6% and that was nice! My paycheck now is actually more than what I made with My per diem job and my old job. And now I still work a day or 3 a month at my other job. So money will be looking a little better.

My challenges still lie in balancing all my home and work responsibilities. I’m managing. It gets stressful at times because It’s an adjustment period. And house stuff has been happening I’ve hard to fix and all that jazz. My GAL is mostly work events and we went on one huge one which was on a yacht in the Hudson. We literally were right up at the Statue of Liberty at night all lit up. It was incredible . I still go to the gym.‘I also started a new mendication which is finally helping with my insulin resistance and my weight is starting to fall off. I broke my plateau . I don’t get to do my other GAL activities I love especially at this time of the year, because they are all day activities and I just need to be at home and catch up on chores. That stinks. Hockey season has also begun. We went to opening game.

And at opening game Saturday someone else was there and texted me because he knew I would be there. We met up at second intermission. And well, the feelings never died on either side. However, he is still needing to be single. And yes, we did hang out and yes we chat. Is it a messed up situation? Yes. We both have those feelings for eachother but the timing is still awful. The good news is I have been just too busy to even date for real at all ( also off all apps for a while because they were making me sick) and I just resolved to just live life. I have been too busy and focused on work anyways. And I just didn’t care anymore. So while we are talking, I already kind of resolved to not pursue anything for a while. So we will see. Might just be a FWB situation. Who knows .

Another blast from my last came back as well. This is the second time he Circled back. I am bit interested. He really tried to convince me to be, but I am not. I guess it’s that time of the year, who knows.

But I am truly content with life presently. Is it still a struggle ? Yup. But I’m happy. Things are going well. And I am proud of me, because I built all of this myself. No one else, just me. My kid is doing great and I take a good amount of credit for that. She’s the best teenage girl I could have asked for even though we butt beads like sisters sometimes. I’m healthy. I am gainfully employed. I have solid friendships. I am truly content .

Will I hit the send button this time? Let’s seeeeee
Liked Replies
#2938821 Oct 28th a 08:35 PM
by Ginger1
Ginger1
Something happened today in my personal life. Won’t divulge here.

But I think the way I handled it and how I felt after I handled it,and how I felt after handling it, Is really beginning to solidified that I do believe I am good enough. For me. Nobody else. Just me.
3 members like this
#2939381 Nov 17th a 03:25 PM
by Ginger1
Ginger1
Thanks Job. It’s about to be a big time of transition for me, and I have no idea what will come with it. When I became a single mom with an infant, I knew the next 18 years, all of my decisions were going to based on my child and her needs. And that I would be stuck where k am until she graduated high school. I have been her primary parent, #1 and we have been going through all stages being a minor together with it’s adjustments. I’ve adjusted accordingly, but yes, every decision i have had to make has revolved around her and her needs through each stage of a life.

Well, now, she’s entering adulthood very shortly and will be on her own. And I am going to be making decisions based on what works for ME primarily. It’s a huge life transition. It’s exciting and very scary at the same time. I’m entering this stage alone. What I do and where I go will mainly have to do with my career. And I have no clue what that looks like!

But it’s in 2.5 years. And I’m absolutely thinking about it now. And yeah, having my kid go to college and not having my sidekick there all the time scares me alot . There will be a hole. But there will be some exciting stuff on the horizons for me.
2 members like this
#2938498 Oct 19th a 05:58 PM
by LH19
LH19
Originally Posted by job
We are all human and make mistakes. No one is immune to making mistakes.
Agreed! As posters though we try to give advice to eliminate people making the same mistakes over and over. G is not a FWB girl. Walk away from the guys who "need to be single".
1 member likes this
#2938482 Oct 19th a 10:38 AM
by Ginger1
Ginger1
I know you are happy with your life and your woman, why can’t you let me be happy with my life?

also, the other guy was one that I dumped twice, well not even a second a time because I wasn’t interested. And I wasnt interested this time. That’s what I was saying. You might be surprised to know they don’t all dump me and I have dumped nearly every guy in the past 2 years. You are just so quick to pounce. It pains you for some odd reason when I am happy and doing good.
1 member likes this
#2939121 Nov 10th a 05:07 PM
by AndrewP
AndrewP
Originally Posted by Ginger1
It’s so weird, I keep going to update, write a long post and delete.
I can understand that. My own posting has taken a nose-dive that was preceded by deleting more than 1/2 of the posts I wrote before hitting the button.

There's just not much that I want to put out there to have dissected by the current audience or have visible for whatever random lurker may be passing by.
1 member likes this
#2939122 Nov 10th a 05:50 PM
by kml
kml
G -
My friend who is in a 12 step program for Love Addiction says one of the program concepts is not to put more into a relationship than the other person is putting in. So check yourself if you find that you are the one doing more or reaching out more. It should be equal.

As for taking it as it comes - I'm good at doing that, but are you? Will you become too attached? Do you have a plan for that?

And those political and religious differences - how big are they? How much does it say about their underlying values?? For me, certain persuasions are a hard no for dating because of what it says about their empathy, intellect, tolerance for racism, and selfishness. So don't paper over anything that is serious.
1 member likes this
#2939373 Nov 17th a 02:26 PM
by bttrfly
bttrfly
may I ask, what does it matter what the reality of the situation is? Super G says this is what she wants, vis a vis her sitch with hockey guy. Opinions are like @$$holes ... everyone has one, but regardless of anyone else's opinion, this is Super G's reality and her path to walk. Who are we to deny G her own journey, and how do we know where her journey will take her? Perhaps God/The Universe/Whatever you want to call it has this as part of her plan ... how are we to know? We aren't, and pretending we do is nothing short of hubristic at this point.

I believe you mean well LH, I truly do so I also have to ask - why do you keep using the same tactics to drive your point home? Do you think it's actually helping Super G for you to jump on every freaking post she makes? And I bet the onslaught isn't limited to the boards... my guess is you're also blowing up her phone with texts that continue in the same vein.

Simply put nothing changes if nothing changes --- but that's for you as well as for myself and everyone else reading this.

G - it's your life. Make decisions which are in alignment with who you are and who you want to be. It's ok to switch course midway if you decide to, and it's also ok to stay the course. You're on your own journey. xoxoxo
1 member likes this
#2939502 Nov 20th a 08:18 PM
by Mach40
Mach40
Ginger, family first. Sounds like you are doing a fantastic job as a Mom. Definitely a tough job.
I am volunteering for a soup kitchen for Thanksgiving.. If I cant be with my family here, than I will bring joy to others who deserve far more.
Do what you got to do and want to do. You dont owe anyone an explanation, unless you want to..
1 member likes this
#2939389 Nov 17th a 05:25 PM
by DonH
DonH
Originally Posted by LH19
I wish you well in your endeavors G money I’ll always remember we made it through the pandemic together.

Well if that’s not an interesting and telling comment. Several here have always had their suspicions.

As for the rest, lots of good comments, but also some additional blanks that need to be filled in, for example I firmly believe we are here more than just to support - - - Challenge, hold accountable, suggest, point out, to name a few. It’s often not any posters actions as much as how these actions go against their own previous words and own best interest. And yes there is the insanity factor. I’ll try to post more later.
1 member likes this
#2939417 Nov 18th a 01:23 AM
by Ginger1
Ginger1
Hey, let’s talk about something positive that has nothing to do with my love life!

D is a junior varsity cheer coach for the basketball team and a varsity cheerleader for the basketball team! I haven’t been a fan of how she hasn’t had anything to do after school and has been lazy. Now she is committed and excited about this. Good exercise, socialization and looks great on college apps. She had her first practice today and it went great and she was excited to show me what they created in their dance so far.

I also have a teen who never locks herself in her room, watches TV , mostly hockey games with me every night, and loves when I write silly messages on her lunch. The things that drive me the most nuts about her is she watches too much tik toks ( but she loves to make me do they with her) and feeding her gives me stress. Other than that, I got super lucky with most amazing teen so far.

I am a lucky mom
1 member likes this
#2939744 Nov 25th a 03:12 AM
by Ginger1
Ginger1
This was the first thanksgiving I had with D in 3 years. We stayed at the plaza hotel and went to the macy’s thanksgiving day parade ( my first time, actually) and got really close without waiting because my dad and his wife have their law enforcement badges. The weather was beautiful and it was really cool. We ate at their thanksgiving buffet which was crazy expensive ( all paid for by them) and my daughter ate rolls and prime rib because she eats nothing. Since I have been on my medication, I can barely eat, but I hit up the chilled seafood bar because I wanted my moneys worth. It was a really cool holiday. Last night we watched the hockey game in our room ( frustrating game) the best part was the bathroom and the nice bubble bath I had in the deep tub.

NGL, holidays are still rough. I love what they did for us, but man, I just wish we had that whole big family traditional thanksgiving dinner. We just have no family. We were home by 5 tonight and it was just D and I and she said “ I miss my family” I admittedly burst into tears ( PMS) as well. It’s because I get it. Her family( Cousins , aunt, uncle, grandmother, his wife’s parents) are all hanging out over there playing a game together and she’s not a part of it. And it’s hard for her, I get it. She felt bad and I felt bad, I just explained that I totally I stand and that’s why I got sad. She did ask me if we could try something new for thanksgiving starting next year where it’s her dads, but she will do dinner there and come home for dessert , and switch off each year. I said sure. Whatever makes her happy. I don’t want her to feel like she is missing out and there are certain things I simply cannot give her. And a big gathering with family isn’t one of them. It what it is. But I get it, because I am a 42 year old woman who craves and misses that myself.

I’m off tomorrow and D and I will be Christmas decorating . She will goto dads after dinner and I work Saturday at my second job. I can certainly use this money for Christmas presents and everything falling apart in my house, lol.

The exciting thing is my dad booked the our Christmas present. Going to Tampa and seeing our hickey team play. We will be getting hockey and sunshine in, it will be awesome .

The truth is the holidays just really still hurt inside. I’m not a saint. I still hurt . Not for the same reasons I did in the beginning, but for different ones. But tomorrow is a new day
1 member likes this
#2939824 Nov 27th a 10:51 PM
by Ginger1
Ginger1
Thank you for the kind words Mach, and you as well, BL. Valentine’s Day is fine for me, New Years is rough, so I usually work New Year’s Day, get my time and a half, and use it as an excuse to go to bed early. Sad, I know. This year it’s on a weekend. I’m not working New Year’s Day, but I did get invited to a party. We shall see if I decide to go .

Interesting weekend. I worked yesterday at my old job. I got to work with people I like and it wasn’t busy. There was this new hospice nurse who was covering and sitting with us . She told her her “story” ( people love to tell me their life story” a week before her 50th birthday this summer, her husband left her for a 32 year old. Together 18 years. He cheated 9 years ago. She gave him another chance. They never had kids. You could tell she’s still going through the “WTF”? I felt for her and shared a small part of my story that showed I understood. I try not to get all about myself when someone is talking about their problems.

I then met my single friend for a drink after work. She’s 60, but young at heart, for sure. She’s been through it all too. The guy she “sees” for years ditched her today. She had a family memeber who works for the jets get tickets to todays game for him. He ditched last minute. So she invited me. We tailgated and had a BLAST. Seats were lower level but covered, so we didn’t get rained on. Jets won. And we went to a bar in the stadium at the half. Long story I will keep short. Every where we go, she knows someone . She ran into her cousins ex BF( this cousins current husband got us the tickets) she asked me to sneak a picture of him, but I wasn’t very sneaky apparently. ( they had been talking at the bar) he was with his boys, who are all law enforcement. One guy saw wheat I did and called me out and we all ended up talking. And this one guy, very cute. Apparently found me very cute as well. He managed to get my number. I do realize, when I do go out, I do meet men. I just don’t go out that much , lol. For work, maybe, but not with single friends. It was actually flattering. Maybe he will ask me out. He did use my number and text me already.

My friend has taste in unavailable men like I do. She also gets really depressed around the holidays too. We are a good support for eachother and just get it

I can’t see myself back on dating apps. They were seriously soul crushing for me. Degrading almost. I’d rather do more activities and meet people organically. The world is open again. Join some clubs for activities that enjoy.

I still talk to hockey guy. We haven’t seen eachother. His schedule has been quite booked solid. He remains interested, but I know it’s only to a point. ( and I’m not talking only sex, but definitely not relationship). I have hard questions I need to ask myself. I think it is important that someone I date is someone that eventually will include me in other areas in his life. I don’t think that’s going to happen here and if it does, it won’t be for a long time.

But I don’t have to make any decisions about anything now. I honestly hope this guy I met will ask me out. I nee
1 member likes this
Michele Weiner-Davis Training Corp. 1996-2025. All rights reserved.
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5