My ex and I used to watch reality tv sometimes after dinner. There was one episode where a woman was reflecting on her divorce and she said, “the only thing worse than being married to a narcissist, is getting divorced to a narcissist.”
I vividly remember feeling like I knew exactly what she meant. I knew that if ex and I ever got divorced, it would be hel! At the time, it wasn’t an option.
Thank you to those who have contributed on my thread the last couple of days. I’m in a weird spot and it helps knowing I’m not alone.
Yes, ataraxia!! Same month as you. Life in ataraxia grows by leaps and bounds. However, as your grandfather's passing shows, we are always subject to the human condition, half good, half not so good. There is no ideal state of bliss and freedom from pain. The difference here, you can feel the pain of grandfather's passing and the loss of this wonderful man (the clean pain) without all the other stuff (the dirty pain-the negative self-talk, the fear of feelings/fear/guilt/hopelessness/terror). The clean pain can be sat with, visited happily with all the reminders of his life, and from there you can move forward with the good memories.
Feel the pain Pax, celebrate his life, and run fast toward all the joy that lies ahead of you. No need to fear, clear skies ahead, you've survived the worst and you can handle anything that comes your way now.
