When do people left behind by MLC spouses give up? I'm sure it varies from person to person, and situation to situation. But is there any discernible pattern? Is there some milestone event after which LBS's give up, typically? Do LBS's tend to hang in there as long as they remain married, but give up when the MLC-er divorces them? Or do most LBS's hang in there long past the divorce?
I know, I know... you DB for yourself, and you DB forever for life but ... there's got to be a point at which you abandon all hope, and just stop caring.
The day our divorce was final, that was it for me. There was a major internal shift in that ... he had months to stop this, to try to fix our family, if not for himself or me then for our son. He did not choose to do so.
Many here say divorce is just a piece of paper.
Many continue to stand after that.
I am not one of them. In order for me to fully detach, I need to let go completely. I am no longer actively standing. I'm not sure exactly what I am doing in relation to my exh. I think at best I'm neutral. We have a function this evening at our son's school. To date we have continued to co-parent with only a few areas of disagreement, definitely brought on by the depression which is core to MLC.
I have no idea what's going on with exh. It is no longer my business. I'm focused exclusively on my son and my future since the divorce became final. As each week passes, that only strengthens.
Many MLCers have to "go the distance" and divorce their spouse before they can begin their own healing process.
