Just checking in. Keep moving on. Doing my thing. Working on becoming the best me I can be. Crying in the shower or car seems to be my thing when I need it. It’s less and less. But some days are harder than others. Blessed to have you guys, my coaching group and friends to talk to.

D’s now 18…whew..birthday was so amazing. I took her out to practice driving in the morning, D, H, and I took the dog hiking and then had an amazing dinner. The staff brought out cheesecake for my D for her birthday which she doesn’t like. So H and I split it. Then he asks he what she wants instead. So on the way home he makes a special stop at DQ to get her a blizzard. Not sure he would have done that 6 months ago.

Tonight D18 and I had a special night. Wicked then dinner. We both really liked the movie and both cried. We spent an amazing dinner analyzing it. We’re nerds.

D19 comes home for Thanksgiving wed. Looking forward to seeing her and to spend Thanksgiving with me dad. I think this will be the easier holiday. Christmas I think will be harder. Probably my favorite holiday and I always get a little emotional now that my mom is gone. Time will tell. I love giving gifts and seeing those smiles on my kids faces. So time will tell what happens.

H has already told me he wants to watch our college football team together tomorrow and have some drinks together. In the back of my head I keep wondering if this is like bd when I thought things were going okay, but then I know I’m different now than I was then.

I actually had a thought the other day wondering if he was lying about where he was and actually looking for an apartment or with OW. You know the stories in your head. And I actually thought, well what if he is. Not like I can do anything about it. It really surprised me having that thought, but it’s so true and that it just popped in my head and I accepted it. Was quite the feeling. No expectations.