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Treasure those memories for they will help you along the way. Your vacation sounds like it went well and everyone had a good time. I know that it has been difficult for you and crying is a way to heal and also you are crying for things that have been lost along the way. There is no way to know what the future may hold for you and your family...but I do know this...you are a very strong person to have gone on this trip and put on a good game face the entire time. That strength will see you through this ordeal.
Stay positive and enjoy each and every moment. Try to remember this, the past is gone, the future is not ours to predict, but the present is a gift, a gift of time and a gift to help us dig deeper within ourselves to do the things that we must do in order to live each and every day.
Stay strong, cry when you need to cry and then pick yourself up, dust yourself off and continue moving forward. You are right where you need to be at this time. Travel safely back home.