Hi, I'm sorry you're here. I'm sure one of the vets will be along soon with some great advice and the welcome post.

It sounds to me like you've started off on the right track. You've identified some changes and have started making them. What I would say to you is to stop talking about your changes and keep making them and stick to them. It could take a while.

Sorry to hear about your health but I'm sorry to say that is normal at this stressful time. I have a health and fitness watch and it is very obvious how my stress, weight, sleep were all affected during the few months when my situation was at Bomb Drop last year. I remember going through all the graphs on the app with my doctor. I was having to force myself to eat even though I was still working out a lot. Be good to yourself. Eat. Work out. Do what you can to get some sleep. Get yourself out to nature. Concentrate on you a little bit. You need time to think and process this.

I like you was straight in to the feeling of 'how do I save my marriage' all before I really took stock of what was actually going on.

Midlife Crisis is a bit of a strange thing. I personally don't believe there is a phenomenon called midlife crisis that happens to people and causes them to act strangely. Rather, in my opinion, there are a subset of psychological and relational things going on that aren't always the same in each case, but they result in behaviours that are so hurtful or destructive to their loved ones that they get called a crisis.

I don't want to alarm you but in almost every case I've read about there has been an affair. Whether that is the case or not, your husband is not acting in a faithful way towards you and your marriage so please guard yourself.