If a specific post was interesting or useful to you, we recommend that you Like that post. It tells the post author, and others, that you found the information valuable. Clicking Like is another way to let others know that you enjoy it without leaving a comment.
Log in to join the conversation and Like this content.
Get riding! and let us know how it goes. I was always the mountain bike type. I started up again after BD...though often riding it on street rides. LOL. A new friend I made introduced me to Critical Mass night time group rides and from their I branched out.
Originally Posted by bkerchik
That and for some reason I’m feeling like I need to apologize for my share of this. After BD I apologized profusely, but never anything specific. Is this even a good idea?
Originally Posted by DnJ
I’d suggest not apologizing further. You’ve already apologized. Leave it be.
If something “specific” comes up, and it has credence, certainly own your part and give a sincere apology. Once.
Originally Posted by job
I agree w/DnJ. You do not need to apologize again. You have already done it previously.
^THIS^
Though let me add another reason. Which I only understood many many months later.
I was ...
BARGANING
Behind my apologizing for every hurt identified by my XW was multiple motives. One of which was bargaining. A covert contract attempt. ...if I make her know I'm sorry, she will give our M another chance...
Was it right to apologize? Yes for the elements I was responsible for...but only those. Also, it won't be believed unless accompanied by behavior changes ... again that are done for yourself ... or again it's bargaining.
Behind all that was also the disentangling of her claimed hurts... which she was processing/feeling through the lens of an EA+? Understanding what is truely my problems to work on and what were the distortions an extramarital relationship brings. It has been a slow process as in the beginning I trusted every word she spoke.
