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palatable. It also has an element of “we can figure it out, if/when you get your act together”.
H, while you are involved with OW, you are not involved with me. I will not speak with you, visit with you, nor have you over at my house.
This ^^^^^^!
And it gives you the space to really figure out what your dealbreakers are.
Time and space away from your H will help you find the answer. You are either going to say "I can live with this" or "I can't". But that decision requires you to be centered and living in your moral code.
It requires you to be 100% focused on your well being.