Doing “what works” shouldn’t be your goal. Nothing will work as far as changing W’s course until she is ready to change on her own. Detachment will “work” if/when she decides she wants to be with you. I made the same mistake with my W, looking for her reactions instead of doing what was best for me. GAL, detach, and stop the R talks. I promise you will be better off.I also know how hard that advice is to follow. Hang in there.