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MG, This was a really good interaction on your part. As you said, not cold... but accepting of the situation at hand.
Expect your H to double down on not losing the dance. What this looks like depends on your H. Sometimes it's in the form of anger spew. Sometimes it's in the form that playing the victim hard. Other times it could be in the form of reaching out or being helpful. You know your husband best so try to predict his hand and when he plays his cards... be ready to have a counter.
The hard thing in this stage is to remember that your H is human. Humans have complex emotions. Sometimes LBSers can't comprehend how a WAS could "want out" and still "struggle to let go" But it's very common... in fact... almost every WAS shows some sign of struggle. For you - don't confuse that for positive interaction. You are only recently detached - it's too early in the game for that.
For now - this is about him. Not only until he has lost everything, sat with all of his feelings, worked through his sh!t, that he can have the emotional capacity to say "Is this what I truly want in life". He will then decide whether to let you go or decide to participate in the new dance you created.
You allow him to have that journey. Should you chose - you can watch from a distance. But know that it's still some time off (if ever) and things will strangely feel worse before they feel better.
Again really good job with the conversation. It is so hard to be distanced from the person we love....
... and yet we constantly need to remember to honor their choices.
I got very used to saying that to my X. It pissed her off alot... but it didn't make it any less true.
