Originally Posted by Caligirl
Half my Spotify is all 80s . My kids randomly sing old songs too . Quite cute when people see them singing along too .

Heh, one night while doing a Critical Mass nighttime bike ride through the city I rode alongside a family. They had a daughter who looked 14 or 15. She had a bluetooth speaker on her handlebars (like many of the participants) and she was blasting an 80's playlist the whole 10 mile ride. I laughed and sang along...

Originally Posted by Caligirl
H in one of his many spews said I felt like our marriage was over . I said why ? He said he felt like we co -existed and gave me a long list of everything I don’t do for him . I didn’t respond to much of it . Wasn’t wasting my breath. I waited now and re-asked the question . H - something was wrong with me I felt alone

Well, my XW did / said much the same, in the form of earnest talking, making it hard to see as spew in the moment. Even just the month after BD she used the phrase, "when we were married..." It was one of those signs I could hardly believe but meant she was emotionally completely attached to OM already. I drank the STFU smoothie. I had learned by that time the minimum of sticking to only emotional validation. Internally thinking WTF!!!?? We ARE married. Any issues with feeling we are "co-existing" can be worked on WITHIN marriage. There is some truth on disconnection there after 20 years and three kids and two careers.

Originally Posted by Caligirl
I can say this was not a thing that changed in the last 6 months . This was 4-5 years of chaos to start seeing a shift that has stuck for the first time in a very long time .

Interesting on the timeline. It took me a long time to learn about affairs and PEAs and MLC and WAS/WW. Might as well throw in perimenopause as well... Once I did, I took a hard look. ... ~3 to 5 years was my estimate. XW had hard plans to be gone by then. ... D19 once asked me something along the lines of - when mom would be normal. ... I don't know D19. Best guess is 3 to 5 years if ever. She has a lot to deal with

Originally Posted by Caligirl
It is nothing you did or didn’t do . It is excuses they use to fuel their fires . H openly has said you made it easy to run when you would get upset at something . It got extremely hard to run when you started not even saying a word and got up to do your own thing like you didn’t even care . Stay your course Grok you are doing really well . I keep up with your posts and read some of the old threads .

Thank you. I mean it. In this mess we have few if any reference points to check on ourselves.

Funny of the day

I'm sitting at home teleworking today. MS Teams meetings ongoing with headset. My cell phone security camera notifications blowing up about someone in the driveway. ... I check. It is S13 riding a wheeled desk chair down our sloped driveway repeatedly! LOL. Looks like D17 is instigating again. I have plenty of bandaids...

g