If a specific post was interesting or useful to you, we recommend that you Like that post. It tells the post author, and others, that you found the information valuable. Clicking Like is another way to let others know that you enjoy it without leaving a comment.
Log in to join the conversation and Like this content.
I decided to test the waters emotionally for me with H. Oh boy this is way different than the few months I did a reset back in late spring . I tried to keep it light so we I asked H if he wanted to go this town 45 minutes away . They have live music on Sunday and some nice outdoor dining and shopping . H jumped on the invite . Ran he ran up in shower and took off like a bandit to go vacuum his car so it was spotless , took kids with him while I got dressed . Came back with flowers . Insert - over kill .
The drive was just awkward. I’m noticeably more quiet . This is hard to change . I’ve learned to not engage with H nearly as much because for years it was painful to talk on deaf ears . This not only goes with him but was a big life change last few years . You cause me pain or no good to my life I only engage when I have to but emotionally since BD he gets little reaction from me .
The date - once we walked around and had a glass of wine it was a lot easier . We had a lot of fun . Did some dancing . Shopping . Food was phenomenal.
Then he let me have it . He has been somewhat reserved last few weeks with R talk . Well here it came over dinner . H - I’m just so sorry . I know you don’t want to hear it again . I can’t even believe you are still here . I promise to be here and never do anything like that again . You have no idea how many times I wanted to just tell you . I couldn’t . I thought you would leave . I hid everything and tried to put on a show but you saw through it . No one would ever tolerate or be as strong as you are . I mean it when I say I really love you .
My response - stop saying you are sorry ! I get it you are sorry . Im here and I do love you , but these last few years have changed the dynamic of how I want to live and what type of spouse I want . You are doing really good , really good ….. Keep doing what you are doing and more of it . It’s not easy on this side of the table . You see a strong person but it takes work to get to this point . This is not an easy fix and will take time . I left it there because he agreed.
Went home . Spent the evening with the kids . Status quo for him . Though now he’s been super clingy and chatty .
