I got a little roped into a conversation with H regarding finances. Small background . I make quite a bit more money than H. Within the last 5 years this was a change . H was the bread winner but with schooling and promotions this has changed. We always had our own accounts plus a joint . We each contributed to joint on our pay days . I manage and always have paying this bills . Over the last 2 years H had an extra job that brought in extra income . I never monitored it or really even took note . Looking back this is how he funded the A. He quit the job back in May since he planted himself home and from what I remember I pretty much knew that’s when he ended A.

So this week his transmission went on his car . Since BD I have placed no money in joint accounts or minimal if he had to run to grab stuff for our children . Obviously as the one making much more money I know the car needs to be fixed . He has always maintained the status quo of contributing to the household and still has . I told H get the car fixed and I’ll move the money over . I got hit with I don’t like not knowing where all “our” money is . Not sure I responded correctly but at this point im giving a tad bit of wiggle room . My response “ you can know where the money is when I have access to all your personal accounts “. I must say for a minute it went exactly as I thought he said no im not giving you those. I said ok and walked away . H followed me and said I’ll print out the last 5 months of records right now but im embarrassed of the 18 months before and don’t want you to see all the hotels and money I spent . If I give you the password you will look back . It’s bad . Really bad . I gave you the most amount of grief about traveling with the kids and your friends while I was hiding money and being irresponsible . Kudos for honesty but oh boy .

I left it be right there . I needed to process that one .