It’s good to hear from you. I am glad to see life is going well. I definitely agree, getting back to work and its required focus and routine to be a good thing.
Originally Posted by Rockon
Interactions with W have been centered around S and the details that support her to be informed to care for him and also anything important. We have been continuing to have our weekly check in conversations about that and that seems to be going well as far as I have been concerned. Other than that I had been sticking to email, keeping it business like with the 24-48 hr mark unless urgent to respond if necessary and a question. Negotiations about assets including the house are progressing albeit slowly.
Good. I’d keep it business-like, with 24-48 hour delay before your response (if response is necessary).
Originally Posted by Rockon
Having said that, W has been sending me some really kind and complimentary texts over recent weeks. Like ones affirming the character and strengths she sees in me and recognizing my values I live out and how much she appreciates me and how my son has such great care and a good home with me. I haven’t responded to any of those texts.
Words vs actions.
Good on you not responding, IMHO. Her words, kind and flowery they may be, lack sincerity when actions do not match. Stick to your path.
Originally Posted by Rockon
And she got upset. She texted:
“Whoever told you only to communicate with me about S is out of their mind. Our old pastor told me you want a divorce (I didn’t tell him that though we have talked about all kinds of things including that possibility), and it looks like you don’t want a friendship or to be able to support our family together so I’m just here in limbo. Im not sure how we can ever move forward without talking to each other”…”You have been my best friend for over half my life and I am telling my friends I just don’t get it. I don’t know what’s going on.”
I haven’t responded.
lol. Well, I’ve suggested only communicating with her regarding son and/or other business related matters. Along with a chorus of others from here. Her feelings regarding such advice does make me chuckle.
Do not respond. Let her stew.
She’s been living at her Mom’s for over two years now. To me, it looks like she is baiting you into an argument. She sends a “nice” text, you don’t jump like she figures you should, and she gets upset. Let her. Believe nothing they say, and only half of what they do.
W blames you in her upset text. “it looks like you don’t want a friendship or to be able to support our family together so I’m just here in limbo.” Don’t fall for it. She moved out! She left! Friendship? Supportive? Together? Words vs actions.
Rock, if/when W is ready you will know. Her actions will match.
Continue as you are doing. Responding only to her business related and/or important family texts. No R-stuff.
Her being upset is a good thing. Folks who have given up or quit, don’t care. They are indifferent. They don’t get upset or hate or anything. Now, don’t break out any champagne, I’m just pointing out a wee sign of positive progress. Where it leads. Well, you know, time will tell.
Originally Posted by Rockon
Negotiations about assets including the house are progressing albeit slowly.
W initiating and taking steps to cancel this ^^^ would be a pretty good “action”. An action initiated by her of course.
It’s only a couple of texts. Treat it as such. Keep on your path and your hard-eared healing and health.
