If a specific post was interesting or useful to you, we recommend that you Like that post. It tells the post author, and others, that you found the information valuable. Clicking Like is another way to let others know that you enjoy it without leaving a comment.
Log in to join the conversation and Like this content.
Thank you for the response . The one thing I learned with this go around was this is not a quick fix for him and it may never be fixable for me . I try not to dwell on that and just keep doing things I enjoy doing . It is also a big adjustment for me having another parent in the home for the majority of the time after work now . I am very accustomed to how the household runs and I know it may sound a little cheesy but the vibe in the home . I set the tone for years . I am by far the calmer parent of the two of us . More a watcher and nurturer. It’s not that it’s a bad thing H is home more it’s just a change for everyone . The kids have begun asking what time H is coming home because they do enjoy the playfulness he brings . So I just roll with it for now . Last week H came home a lot earlier from work than his usual last few months . Kids were off playing with their friends . Usual stuff . He looked baffled and asked this is what the house is like in the evenings , you are alone a lot . I just said yes this is what the kids do and how the household runs after school . Kids play . Sometimes I go . Sometimes I start cooking . He looked utterly confused . I wanted to say news flash buddy you got a wife and kids but I just moved along . The guilt gets me on and off with that one . I don’t speak about it with H . But it’s a real reality that I may face that I’m just not in it for the long haul . But again . I don’t dwell and really do try to move along and keep things light . One day I’ll figure it out but not today .
It’s not a far stretch what you said about H not recognizing the person he left behind years ago . I barely recognize the person I was 5 years ago . Even if you take my marriage out of the last 5 years . Major growth spurts in parenting style , my own education , financial independence and just overall values and beliefs was huge and as you say there’s no going back . H said something interesting 2 weeks ago when I threw out a couple questions . H said I never want to live like that again . Well guess what that makes two of us .
Time will tell with this one . Actions are still the same . Counseling for him . He’s home . Active parent . He has been giving me some more emotional space which is a change and needed . Not pressuring me with the I’m sorry anymore or to talk R.
Thanks for taking the time . I pop on every few days and read others posts as well . Sometimes I just want to reach out and hug all of them .
