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100% Catman. That’s why this DB principles suggest marriage counselling after bomb drop is a waste of time.
I took my ex wife along begrudgingly to a qualified psychologist and revered marriage counsellor.
In session three, as ex wife screamed at me, counsellor stopped her mid session and separated her into another room, spoke to us separately, called us back in together and then 100% told my ex she was being abusive and she couldn’t yell, scream, point her finger or cross her arms and shake her head like a toddler.
As we left, ex wife says “She’s totally taking your side, I’m never going back there again.” And refused to go to any more appointments.
She then told her girlfriends “I tried everything to save my marriage, including counselling.”
She went to counseling because she wanted validation she should continue her affair and everything that had ever happened to her was my fault. Psychologist saw right through it, called her on it, and then ex flipped to victim state.
Unless both people, mutually, sit down and decide they want to save their marriage and get outside help, marriage counselling is a waste of time.
I think Crmnsrnn should cancel rather than try to force counselling.
“I’ve decided to cancel our marriage counselling as you don’t seem invested in it. I’ve decided to get some counselling just for me to work out how I want to move forward.”
