Hey MikeP. Glad to see an update. Sorry to hear about the current struggles. As DNJ says, and as unnatural or counterintuitive as it feels, you must work on what you can control: yourself. Work toward the best of yourself so that you feel your best and can act as only your best self can. It is different than being selfish. This self-orientation is about your well-being. Your sanity. Your health. Yes, it would help if you worked on empathy and validation when given an opportunity with W.

Healing and forgiveness are for you; not necessarily W. The "guarantee" (as DNJ suggests) is that, more often than not, if we work on ourselves, truly, no matter what the outcome of our relationships, we can feel confident we're doing the best we can.

Seeming sad or desperate isn't attractive. To paraphrase the old saying, detachment makes the heart grow fonder (if there is a chance it will). Are you working on getting a life of your own? Becoming a bit mysterious? Doing 180s from the habits and behaviors that may have contributed to your current situation.

Copy and paste Sandy's rules into a note on your phone. Work on executing them. Re-engage in a hobby or interest you've put aside or start one that you've hoped to start. W has to go through whatever W needs to go through. You didn't break her; you can't fix her. The right actions might attract her back to you. But work to be more attractive for any potential partner or friends or family who might prefer to spend time with you. I've not read back through your thread to see if you have an individual therapist or perhaps a program at work that enables at least some short-term therapy visits for you. If you can, I recommend it. And, keep posting her. We'll help how we can.