Hi, all. Sorry for a delay in posting. We went away on a family vacation and then the board seemed to be down for a few days due to website certificate/security issues.

Thanks, Kind for those words. It can still be a struggle at times to take what "feels" like an easier path.....just say yes to delaying the D.....just eagerly say yes to counseling......accept all blame heaped on you....don't take a hard look at one's contributions. The work remains challenging and the benefits of sticking to it are comparably worth it to me.

MC is going very well. We are fortunate to have found a therapist who we both like. She's been very gentle and, I think, providing my W with some individual therapy under the cover of our MC. I can see her drawing on the work of MWD and also Sue Johnson, a guru on emotionally focused therapy. We've both been following through on our assignments, spending more time relaxing together and re-igniting some of the spark from before our D14 was born and we began to "divide and conquer" chores, childcare, and other household work - putting it before maintenance of our marriage. I'm quite happy at how responsive and appreciative W is being towards me and returning that in kind.

This was the most relaxing family vacation in a long while. The three of us, my in-laws, and some close friends of W were in a fairly remote, rural city on a large lake. W and I enjoyed some alone time. At one point, W (who planned this trip expecting we'd be divorced by now) stopped me to say "I'm really happy that you're here". While we continue to build a "new" and better version of our relationship, I'm mindful of not back-sliding. I remind myself of things fellow DBers have said, directly to me or in other posts. Sandy's rules and a few other key ideas remain in my notes on my phone when I need a refresher.

When this board was down, I felt terrible about losing all this wonderful, accumulated knowledge. Losing our anonymous but tight community. I felt bad about being away for so long - know that often happens as our situations resolve themselves....one way or another. I'm glad to be back! And my goal is to keep sharing updates, positive or not, and to try to pay forward the help I received.

Watching the Olympics reminds me of how much practice it takes to perform at our best...under any conditions. DBing is not different. Like an apprentice becomes a journeyperson becomes a master craftsperson, we have to keep working on ourselves. Doing better, sometimes even in a relentless, incremental way. I'm sure a bit of luck helps too.

Be well, everyone. I look forward to catching up on others' situations and offering assistance where I can.