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The last 7 pages of this thread - what an uplifting read!
MrP, you’re an inspiration to the board.
Your strengths are you ability to not respond with emotion, not trying to manipulate or control anything .. and gently putting her balls back in her court. Every time she hits the ball to your side of the tennis net you just gently lob it back and let her deal with it.
To me, that’s a fundamental concept of DBing. You manage your problems, and she has to manage hers.
I also think indifference is a key to reconciliation. When you started saying “I’m not sure if I want to save this or try counselling” it made it very clear that you were a strong, proud man and she would have to manage her side of the fence.
I think if you’d jumped excitedly at delaying the divorce and starting counselling, you’d have come across weak and unattractive. People never want or value that which they can obtain easily.
You’re a great example of the success of deep personal improvement and following DB principles.
