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Jessieht, just want to send you some validation and encouragement. The first six months or so of living with H again was REALLY hard. H was too depressed and anxious to be a fully present partner. As MWD says (forgot if it was in DB or one of the essays on this site), you will need to get your goodies elsewhere. I continued to rely on friends and dug deep into my hobbies. I wish I had done this even more, actually. Because there were times when I felt really weighed down by H’s mood and I resented having to deal with Aloof and Grumpy H when he was the one who hurt me and he should be the one bending over backwards to make my life as easy as possible. Needless to say, this mindset doesn’t help anyone.
It makes total sense to me that your H’s return has been rough, too. Hang in there. Keep doing your own thing. Focus on your healing.
