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My BD was in 2009. I joined DB in 2011. At time of bomb, D13, S11, D9, D6
What brought me here are my thought about the whole thing.
I witnessed both side. I divorced my MLCer, my friend did not.
My ex-h is really sick. Uncontrolable diabities with kidney disease. He is on the verge of dialisis. He made amand with everybody but me. He might have tried on several occasion but i shut him down quickly. Over the years, i got many unexpected calls from him proclaming he truely loves me. ( At least 15 to 20 calls) My responses were: 1 " you don' t know what love is." 2. "you love noone. Not even yourself". 3. Don' t say you love me when you have another woman in your life" 4. "Show me"
I would not have any interaction with him for months and all of a sudden, i would get these calls. He would not say anything else.. It did not make sense to me. He is still working. ( we think he might of gotten a promotion to detective at some point but we are not sure.) Our kids are now adults. Only one is attending University with 1 year left to do. All 3 older are set in their field, home owners and doing really well. I' m very proud of them. They have a relationship with their father but don' t take bs from him. Ex-h has been with W? ( lost count..lol ) for the past 5 years. Their relationship has been rocky all along.
As for me, i' m a 53 yr old empty nester who is filling the void with puppies.. I own 3 chihuahuas and a maltice- terrier. I breed 2 of my chihuahuas. I have 5 1week old puppies at the moment. I am single by choice. Not interested in any kind of relationship. My life is quiet and peaceful.
My friend' s MLCer.. She is a very good friend of mine who was also a co-worker. She opened up to me about her husband' s problem. Midlife script.. She did not know why, where it came from, how he could be like this etc.. They went to marriage councelling and stayed together. Her husband has gain a huge amount of weight, chronic depression, no interest, not a care in the world. My friend is overwelm.. wondering if she did the right thing. She does EVERYTHING as if she was alone. She gets angry at him for not assuming his responsabilities. As i said, he does not care.. Their marriage ended prior to councelling, eventho they are still together.
MLC changes everybody.. the MLCer, the left behind, the families and friends, all aspect of the life you once knew. We don' t get through it, we learn to live a different life.
