Catman, I just read through your story and cried through so much of it. I'm sad for you. I'm sad for your W and your situation. I don't know that I'll ever understand MLC and that it is a real thing although with so many similar stories on here, clearly MLC is a real thing. Just doesn't make much sense how a good person can be so irrational. I am truly sorry and offer you virtual hugs.

I've been so tempted to cut the cord, too, but don't know that I'm ready. Adult kids are still holding on with hope, which influences me to keep hope alive. I also don't have the courage to snoop as I imagine I would learn things about H that I'm not prepared to swallow. That day is coming and my reaction/response is something I think about a lot. How much can I accept? Not knowing what H is up to only provides a bit of comfort...I still wonder and imagine the worst....equally unhealthy.

Do you think that snooping has influenced your decision to walk away? If you didn't know about OM, would you hold out? Would you be better off not knowing and let W ride her waves until she crashes? Maybe if you stop snooping, you could be more at peace. After all, what she does, she will do...whether you're in the know or not.

I'm afraid that if you continue to snoop, your (hurt) feelings won't change and you won't heal, regardless of the country you move (run) to. I like that you're moving to a place where family can comfort you...even if you don't share details with them....having family around will bring love, peace, support, etc. I'm happy for you in that regard.

I wish I had answers but instead I share questions I pose to myself....still searching for answers.