I felt like I needed permission to ask questions, so many on here are big on using the GAL phrase, so I feel at times like I shouldn't ask questions. I understand people do get frustrated, my own friends and family don't want to hear it, I don't even talk abt it with them anymore, try not to mention his name. My H's depression may b a little different from most, he had quadruple by pass in Jan of last year and I know depression comes with that as well. I just really don't understand where he's at when just 3 months ago we talked on the phone for 2hrs, now there's nothing, no text, no emails and no calls.....I just want to shake him.
The reason that GAL is heavily used around here serves a couple things...
Many good people have gotten lost down a Rabbit Hole searching for the "whys" of MLC...
The "whys" are important when you first get there, I remember that, yet in the end ?
The "whys" aren't as important because they aren't YOUR answers that you have been seeking.
Too often, the LBS goes stumbling down that path and doesn't take the time to own their own roles in the downfall of the marriage.
It's too easy to blame MLC for the relationship coming unglued, and fail to understand that MLC could possibly be the reason, yet it isn't the total cause...
You are each, 100% responsible for your 50% of the marriage failing...
Yes, MLC is his, yet there are also reasons that he felt that he could not come to you with the issues dancing around in his head...
GAL also gives the LBS time away from their situation, enabling them to see that they aren't defined by whether or not they are married. It allows you to see that your sole existence isn't tied to you being all of those roles that I described earlier.
You will find that strength through GAL, strength to become strong enough to face everything that will be thrown at you during this.
So yes...
Ask questions...
Educate yourself on what MLC is, and how it affects the emotional side of the brain..
Just please...
DO NO get stuck in that place.
You will see things that will make your rational brain do cartwheels before this is over, and YOU having a firm grasp on who you are, how you deal with things will only help you on this path.
Standing is a choice that you make, it is yours and yours alone.
Knowing that you could do everything correctly (if that exists ) and still have your marriage end.
And you could also do everything wrong and have it reconciled...
None of this will make sense to any rational thinking person.
NOTHING you say or do will change the outcome, yet EVERYTHING that you say or do will affect the outcome of this..
MLC is a world where the irrational becomes rational to the MLCer.
When you can drink coffee with a fork, then you will understand it completely.
Some friends that I've made here have had some pretty incredible taglines in the past....
MLC takes it's toll, please provide exact change...
Stand, but don't stand still..
Life is about how you handle Plan B...
What's going on here ??
Who the he!l knows !!!
What do those mean to you ???
What does standing mean to you ???
What to you want for your future that is only for you ??
Not the wife that you are
Not the Mother that you are
Not the Daughter that you are
You, alone when the lights go off....
You ??
Because that ^^^ will take you farther than anything else through this...
I linked a thread on Mama G's thread...
In it, there is a plethora of MLC insight from some pretty incredible ladies that have come through here.
