H has an avoidant dismissive relationship style. I hadn't evaluated him before in this way but understand that this stems from childhood upbringing too. This style fosters independence and therefore, H feels safe when distant; H doesn't want to be depended upon (by me & others); H has fear of rejection or dependence; H desires closeness while experiencing emotional turmoil. These also seem to be characteristics of MLC. Is he in MLC or does this style bring out/highlight the many fitting MLC traits (coincidentally)? Is it a recipe for disaster to be in MLC with this relationship style? Does H have a chance at making more progress?

When H dropped me off after appt on Wednesday, he suggested coming over on Saturday to take care of a water issue that I ordered some parts for. H's suggestion was out of the blue as we were singing and talking in the car. It's nice that he's now suggesting that we get together...even if it's not a 'date' request. H is more comfortable and trusting of me - I can feel it. Even if I can feel this I wonder if H is bored on weekends, is he missing me, something else?

Thanks for weighing in on Mother's Day - I will not invite him as much as it hurts me to think of what kind of day he'll have. But, if rock bottom is what is needed, I need to stop saving him from his hurt. I'm listening.

I'm reading more about divorcebusting and trying to be strong enough to apply what I read. As you can tell, I'm still asking questions that tell me I'm not ready to completely do a 180. It's hard to do - I know you know that all too well. It's hard to hang out with him for several hours at a time, see who I always knew and then have to let go of him for days with no contact. But, I'm doing it. smile TY for the guidance and thoughts and suggestions.