Today W and I will sit down with her family's wealth advisor to review our financial picture. From previous conversations with W, I am under the impression she (W) thinks we can shuffle things around such that I keep certain accounts and she gets the house. Our equity position in the home is large enough that this isn't possible, but I am going into the meeting with an open mind and letting the advisor explain that and propose whatever solutions she can think of (she is a CDFA). I had previously assumed W's father was going to ride to the rescue with a large check to let her keep the house, but I'm now getting the sense he isn't going to do that. I'm making lots of assumptions because there is no direct communication on the subject between he and I.

I've had a few frustrating encounters with W that I would like to vent about.

D6 was sick this week. She stayed home from school Tuesday while W went to work; since I work from home D6 stayed here and I cared for her. Wednesday I had a lunch and offsite meetings, so I arranged for my mom to take care of D6 during lunch and meetings. My mom enthusiastically asked if W could just drop her off on her way to work, and D6 could spend all day with my mom rather than just while I was at lunch/meetings. Perfect, I thought - child care is handled and D6 will be receiving undivided attention from grandma all day.

W did not like this idea. She asked a series of questions: "doesn't your mom already have plans for the day, why do I have to drop her off on my way to work, why is she watching her all day instead of just at lunch?" etc. I asked questions when she brought all this up: "What is it about the plan that doesn't work for you?" and the like. Ultimately she finally blurted out "I've had to stay home from work lots of times when the kids were sick, you're going to have to deal with all of that now yourself!" I realized the conversation was futile, W is very angry, and this had nothing to do with whether D6 was taken care of. I told her D6 is in good hands and that's what matters, and walked out of the room. Very frustrating but I knew continuing the conversation wasn't going to do any good.

Last weekend W went to her brother's house and got drunk. When she came home I was in bed reading, and she said "I think we're making a mistake and shouldn't get divorced. I know we're both miserable but it's going to be bad for the kids if we divorce." I replied that we were getting divorced because of her PA, the loss of trust, the unwillingness to work to restore trust on her part, and that we would both do what was best for the kids. She turned on a dime and went down the usual path, saying she has never been attracted to me and looks at our relationship like an arranged marriage, having only married me because her family liked me and she thought it would settle her down. More of the usual acerbic drunk anger.

Aside from that I'm doing well. Today is a month alcohol free and I'm still enjoying a very active social life.