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Thank you for this DnJ. It is a kafkaesque experience for me and I realise how much I have to learn.
I have worked hard to let go. However, there is a lot of hurt that will take me time to get over. No matter what I do, there are things where I am being pushed into living a life that I do not want to live. Which I will need to think about if there is ever any reconciliation - I read MrP's thread and it struck me that there is an element of where I am asking myself if I do want to be with someone with these behaviours.
The time element is an interesting reflection. I realised that she was unhappy for a long time. I thought that she would be happier coming back to the UK. Which she might be, or not. Reflecting on my children and the fact that I do really care for her (despite the above), I have resolved to give this time. Recognising that it may take long and get worse - which is something that I am still getting my head around.
I need to still get more out of the mindset of doing things / thinking of things that "fix" her as you put it. I have started detaching more, but this is something not natural to me as I am a kind person. However, I am getting around to the concept of doing things that seem unnatural to me.
Thank you for the advice and insights. It is helping a lot.
