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1. W betrayed my trust and recruited others to lie, I won't be with someone who does that. 2. W is a 37 year old mother of 3 who stays out at bars until 2am, not who I will be with. 3. W prioritizes drinking over kids and has become neglectful as a mother, not fair to kids.
When having the conversation:
1. Be congruent at all times 2. Do not let your emotions control you, especially when she tries to draw them out. 3. Key replies: "It's not that simple" and "I'll think about that and let you know." ***
D is not the solution to your problems. It might be part of your boundaries. Your beliefs, thoughts and behavior need changes. I say this without including any info from your previous posts.
I can't help her change. You are the only one I may be able to influence. The way you interact with her is the only thing that may make a difference.
She needs someone "stronger" than her to lead her through whatever she is going through. It is up to you to figure out how to do this. It will be one of the hardest things you will ever do.
