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I just reread your first post and sure enough, he's blaming you for everything. Classic playbook.
His AP does not sound like a good risk, to put it mildly. I see some parallels between your husband's situation and my wife's. Her current AP is younger than her and (a lot) younger than me. He's coming out of a marriage that lasted less than five years and is currently living in his parents' basement.
What attracts wayward spouses to these "stellar" prospects instead of working to improve what they have right in their hands is something I'll never understand.