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The DB book has just arrived today so I'll get stuck in about it later.
Excellent.
Originally Posted by MistyDD
He is aware that I would take him back.
He needs to feel the loss of you before he might alter his path.
Originally Posted by MistyDD
I'm unsure how to handle the whole thing about whether I would take him back or not.
That decision is a ways off at the moment.
However, alter your mindset.
You likely wouldn’t, don’t, want H as the currently confused guy he is. You don’t want to be plan B. You are the prize!
So, if/when he gets his mess/life cleaned up, you’d be willing to explore the possibility of you and him. To see if there is any spark, any chemistry. To see if you actually like him. To see if he likes you; the new and improved you. Remember, you ain’t going to be just sitting around, you’ll become MistyDD2.0.
Originally Posted by MistyDD
I guess he's got doubts, isn't quite ready to let me go and I'm not quite strong enough to fully enforce the boundaries that I need to.
Out of those, you can only control the second one.
Utilize healthy boundaries, 180, focus on you, GAL - in short DB. (will make much more sense after you read DR) DB will save you and gives you the best chance at saving your marriage.
Time and space. Let H’s doubts and feelings work for you. Let his guilt, regrets, shame, and such speak in his mind. H’s affection, attention, cake eating, etc is him trying to quash those feelings within him. Deflecting, running, and such.
Originally Posted by MistyDD
I sat him down this morning and said we need to start sleeping apart again as it's messing with my head, giving me false hope and it isn't fair when I'm not his no.1 anymore.
