DnJ, genius of you to spot the parallel between my current thoughts with work vs. love. For the last few days, I've stopped texting her. There’s lots of long term reasons not to do anything with her (or anyone else rn). All of the reasons to continue are short term. I knew it was a bad idea and was seeking a bucket of ice water here. Thanks for delivering
Pattnee, I’m sure our situations have differences, but I am the same in that I’m not healed yet. I’ve been struggling to understand exactly where I am, really. This D is much more complicated emotionally for me than the first.
D#1 was 7-8 months of intense pain and loss. I had more and more good days over that period, but mostly it was just misery, hopelessness, even physical pain. Then it was all suddenly gone in an instant. I havent missed W#1 since.
This time, I never had the mega intense loss feelings, not on the level or the first D. Maybe it was because I somewhat anticipated this one, I knew from experience that I would be okay, or some other reason. After the first couple of months, I have mostly felt good, but have days here and there where I struggle. I’m trying to be mindful of what may have been the trigger when those bad days arrive. It was such a clean change the first time, this one feels like I’m stuck in limbo. It’s not simple, linear progress. When I step back and think about how it’s only been 5 months, I know it’s still early. I need to be more conscious in stepping back and observing myself from a 3rd person perspective. When I’m honest here, I get that from you all. So thanks to both of you for commenting
