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Hi Jessie. You're doing a lot very well. I wanted to comment on something you said in your first paragraph:
Originally Posted by jessieht
I have not done a 180 on this and have really been doing all the little wifey stuff and bending over backwards because i didn't want him to feel I wasn't a good wife and someone else would do it better for him.
Is "doing all the little wifey stuff and bending over backward" working from your perspective? What reactions if any is he giving you to show that he appreciates your efforts, thinks you're a good wife, and nobody else would be better for him? My intent isn't to be a smart aleck about this. To me, doing all the wifey stuff and bending over backward doesn't seem to be generating a positive response from him or for you.
It is counter-intuitive, but changing YOUR behavior in the oppositive direction (a 180) here is what MWD suggests we do. As the saying goes, "Don't know what you've got until it's gone". IF there is a chance your hubby will turn around, it is unlikely to be because you're doing the same things you've always done. You need to behave "as if" you've woken up to the current version of your marriage not working. To me, a person (husband or wife) won't respect or be deeply attracted to a partner they know they can take advantage of regularly.
Enough on that. You're doing so well overall. I'm glad to see you venting and joking around out here. Slipping up, especially while still learning the DB roles, is natural. You're building new skills and just like when we start dieting or exercising, we slip up, have a "cheat" day, and slide back a step. Think about how you're going to respond better next time something similar comes up so that you're ready!
