I will understand the pressure and pain this time of year can bring to those embroiled within a fresh situation. One’s wounds are exacerbated, and any new and tender healing is ripped opened yet again. Even those further along can experience sadness and sorrow during the season.
My first Christmas was horrible. Just two months past bomb drop. I suffered mostly shock and depression. The anguish was near indescribable to the uninitiated of such betrayal and family upheaval. I felt so alone.
And such is that first year. Every first special event - birthdays, anniversary, and so on - that first time walking it solo is so tough. It takes some getting used to. By the next, and the next; you get better and better.
Believe me, I’ve been there.
No one could take away my feelings of pain and depression. Not parents, not kids, not friends. It is a path, a journey one has to walk. And the shortest way through the bog is a straight line. Follow the counterintuitive advice and stick to the path. By the way, those emotions are perfectly normal and needed.
I certainly had a few moments of happiness in that first Christmas as well. My parents and kids and friends were all around. Of course they were likewise suffering too and we all supported each other. Looking back, it made us a stronger family.
I also had the very fine folks here. Kind, wise, posters with much hard-earned wisdom who had walked before me. Truly a godsend.
So, there I was, surrounded by love and caring, which at the time was felt no where to the depth of which it truly was and is.
To those starting out and struggling. (((Hugs))) I do care. You are loved. Hang in there. I know that it doesn’t feel it, yet it does get better. In fact, you might, likely even will, look back on this time as some of your finest moments.
Merry Christmas to you and your’s. May you find peace and comfort, love and joy, hope and faith. And all the best in the new year.
