Friendly and honest is better than many alternatives.

A positive result of low contact as you saw is that the hot stove of the WAS cools off some, so their tension reduces. And they may find, like yours did, that they miss talking to you and even get a bit unsettled that maybe you do not want to anymore.

A great thing about Getting a Life, doing 180s, rediscovering old loves/hobbies, and trying out new ones is when these contacts with WAS happen, you have more to share than just, 'I've been here kind of having a hard time with things.'

There might be a project you've started (or completed). New artwork you've done. A new outing you did and might share a quick story about. Some funny character you met. Or something you're headed out to do or someone/group you are headed out to meet. Cause you're a busy, interesting guy, not a sad sack pining away. But, give just a whiff of you and your connection - like catnip. Then ya gotta go, cause you don't give yourself away.

Warm, positive, fun, mysteriously and newly busy -- "Hey, it was great seeing you and catching up, W, but I gotta go XXXX. I'll see you later! Thanks for coming by."

And you don't wanna talk about the sad state of things/the relationship (unless they initiate it of course). Cause that is not a fun topic. No one talks about stuff like that when they are dating or connecting. So don't go there for reconnecting either.

When she told you that the situation has been challenging for her, did you validate and invite her to share more? 'Yeah, I can imagine it's been hard. Tell me how it's been for you." If one of your challenges was listening to her about her every day things, listening to her, inviting her to share more, and validating when she makes a statement like that might be a 180 for you.