If a specific post was interesting or useful to you, we recommend that you Like that post. It tells the post author, and others, that you found the information valuable. Clicking Like is another way to let others know that you enjoy it without leaving a comment.
Log in to join the conversation and Like this content.
People will relive life lessons until they learn them. Some folks stubbornly or unwittingly recycling, repeating, living and languishing in a purgatory like loop for the rest of their days. Your H appears to be struggling with respect/disrespect and authentic/sincere behaviour. Responsibility and accountability are the principles of an adult, and H is trying to be young.
Originally Posted by Snowball
I said I don't even want him dancing with any other women and he said.. that's where I have a problem. I don't know if it was because I'm sounding controlling or what.
I said, that is disrespectful to me and he said he doesn't purposely disrespect me, that he just doesn't go out of his way to respect me. Because I've been disrespectful to him.
He is projecting and blaming onto you. As you’ve said, in the past you were disrespectful towards him, and that wee grain of truth H will utilize and craft an entire narrative and justification around for his present behaviour.
You are not being controlling, H’s disrespectful behaviour problem is because he doesn’t respect himself. He is living disingenuously.
Life provides feedback. And H will languish until he realizes and steps up to be accountable and take ownership of his choices.
Originally Posted by Snowball
I've always hated how he just won't own up to anything and blames all his actions on someone else.
Yep. You see it. Now, what?
Hate doesn’t serve you.
Giving H a free pass is not the answer to your peace either.
Love the sinner, forgive the sin.
Let go the hate. You cannot control what H does. You can and have told him what bothers you and what is disrespectful. Enforce boundaries on such disrespectful behaviours. Whatever boundaries that you require for your well-being.
Letting go the hate, is not condoning H’s behaviour either. And it’s not a free pass. You can and should hold him accountable for his actions.
If you notice, boundaries, condoning, accountability are all regarding H’s behaviours and actions, not H himself. This is a non-judgemental attitude and stance, which encourages forgiveness. Striving to love the person and forgive the behaviours, for no one can see all ends, only God can forgive the person/soul.
Yes, H is not owning up to his actions and is blaming others. You know this. No point giving it emotional bandwidth. Don’t let it live rent free in your heart and head. It doesn’t serve, and it doesn’t pay to keep it around. Evict it, let it go.
