Hi Broken
I am so sorry to hear your story. It amazes me how many start to come out at this time of year leading into the holidays. MLC absolutely is horrible. I would absolutely go back to your home away from her for the holidays. Go and have fun smile laugh. The emotional roller coaster you are on is absolutely horrible but you will be ok. You only control you. You can’t control her. Let her be, pull away let her realise the reality of losing you and your worth. And I agree there is definitely an affair. We have all been in denial and it comes out later. I feel your pain. I am almost at a year since Bd when my H dropped the bomb. I wished I could have got away I think I would have healed better and quicker but I had to step up and be the best mum to my kids. try not to dwell on the affair partner. It will serve you no good. You control where your mind and thoughts go and keep them far away from the OM. He is just a blanket for her he is nothing. She obviously needed somethinf( to feel young and feel like she still has it maybe) and found someone who is saying the right things to make her feel good. They forget about their family their spouse their stability. Let the affair run its course. Hardly any of them last. Go on living and have fun if she sees you having fun she will feel what she has lost and she will hate it.
Keep on going, reading, it does get easier it just takes time