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I could’ve said “Hey I followed up with my mom like you suggested. She may pop in” and taken the opportunity to chastise me away or reduce that risk.

Mate, what you could have said instead is this:

“The sky is blue.”

And you still would have been wrong.

I hear you though - a hard habit to break. It took me years and years before I worked out how to stop trying to make an unhappy person happy.

Best way to do it is to imagine how people external to your marriage (not her, not you, not family, not friends) would view your interaction.

I’m sure someone independent would say you acted entirely in a reasonable manner.