We accepted an offer on the house yesterday. Unfortunately, was below asking price, which is really going to hurt me in buying a new place. I wanted to put in a counter offer, but our realtor said this was probably the best we could do. W gladly accepted the offer. Whatever, at least it's over.
W went on an overnight 'girls trip' yesterday, so I told our son last night that the house has sold. He was a little upset, but seemed to take it well.
I do want to apologize for not being very active on other threads here. Especially this past month, between work, constantly leaving the house for showings, etc it felt like I haven't had 5 minutes alone to do anything. But thanks to the people kind enough to post on my thread. It means a lot.
A good, mutual friend (who my W no longer speaks to for some reason) asked me the other day, 'seriously, if W came to you and said she's sorry for everything, wants to work it out, etc, what would your answer be?'
I told her that the day after BD, W and I were talking and she brought up how a kid in the wrestling programs mother called me one day and asked if I could take her son to an event. W said that if we weren't married, she would never think to ask me that, because I'm 'not the type of person she would be friends, or even friendly with'. I've thought about that conversation for 6 months, and never really understood how or why she could say something so hurtful. But it makes sense now.
Despite part of me that still loves her, I finally realize that the feeling is mutual. Not only do I not want to be with her anymore, but if not for having to coparent, I'd never want to even see or associate with her again. Forget how she treated me for 20 years. Forget losing our home, forget the pain and suffering she's caused our family, friends, etc. I have zero regard for anyone that walks out on or neglects their children. I put her in a similar category as the druggie, who's kids are starving because the parent spends the money on another rock. Or the parent that chooses to work 80 hours a week, and misses their kid growing up. Someone that walks out on their kid, just in hopes of finding their (ever changing) 'happiness' is IMO a selfish piece of garbage.
So my answer to my friend was 'finally, after 20+ years, there is nothing W could ever say or do that would make me want to associate with her, let alone be in a relationship with her'.
Everyone here says this journey is about saving yourself, not saving your marriage. For any newbies who may read this, listen to the experts here. The goal is to save yourself. Save your children. If the marriage can be saved, great. But it shouldn't be the ultimate goal.
