Been a while since I last chimed in here. Had another good week and weekend. W hadn't brought up D in about a month. Stayed focused on myself: working out, making plans with friends, supporting my daughter with some school and athletic pursuits. Today W asked what my plans were for Thanksgiving. I simply replied that my daughter and I were going to "My dad's" which has historically been where we've gone as a family most years. I left it at that. Later, W, our daughter, and I were shopping and W told our daughter she should pick some things out for her room. D looked at me and I looked at her (if you've not read my posts, D knows that W is considering divorce) as if to say "Why the heck would she ask that" and then played it off by walking to the next display. D confided in me later that this was exactly what she was thinking at the time (why would mom ask me to pick out things for my room if she might want to get a divorce).
Before dinner, W asked if I picked a lawyer and I just said "Yes". W made a comment about always having to follow up to get me to do something. I didn't try to re-litigate the past - we disagree about past events. W rarely asks directly for what she wants (due to anxiety and avoidance issues).
Instead, I took an idea from a recent post from Rejoice and leaned in to ask if W might consider a FWB arrangement which caught her off-guard. She smiled, laughed, and said "Nooooo...." to which I replied "Well, I'm here if you change your mind about having some casual fun" and then left the room. I felt funny and confident again and that reflects how I'm feeling more days than not lately.
