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It's been years since I've posted, and today I decided to check just to see who was still here.
First, so sorry to hear of your situation. I know all too well how painful it is. I remember telling friends I'd rather be hit by a car than experience the mental anguish I felt.
I'm going to be brutally honest with you, so prepare yourself. It's highly likely she's having an affair. I was on these boards for years and it got to be very predictable after a while.
The good news, is that I've seen many LBS win their WAS back after an affair, and have a better relationship than before the BD happened.
I was able to get my WAS back using Michelle's principals although that relationship eventually ended a few years later. The advice you are getting is sound - time and space.
You want to get to the point that your W feels as if she is going to lose YOU. How do you do that? You remove your focus from her and invest all your energy in yourself. Become interesting, not for her, but for you. Take salsa dancing lessons. Go skydiving. Join the gym and build your body. Take cooking lessons. For me, it was mountain biking, which I still do to this day.
Prepare yourself for a long hard road. It's going to suck for a while. BUT, once you make it through this, you will feel more empowered than you ever have before. And it's possible you won't even want your W anymore after seeing all that life has to offer. Hell, I've seen WAS's start to chase and beg the LBS after the WAS let them go. In fact, that's what happened in my situation.
