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Mental Illness is tough on both the individual and the family. My guess is that you've been heavily involved. So a huge 180 for you would be to pull back and let her go
1. Stop asking where she is going, what she is doing, or who she's hanging with. 2. Move your office space to the man cave so you have less interaction with her. This will help your mental health 3. Stop initiating all help towards her mental health. No more encouraging her to take her meds, talk to a doctor. Nothing. 4. Lay down some strong boundaries. Abuse of any kind is NOT okay. No mental heath group, therapist, hospital, etc will ever say trauma or mental illness excuses it. It's your W's responsibility to deal with her trauma and mental health - no one else.
This is gonna feel very uncomfortable to you. In some ways you have probably been enabling her behavior with "your help". It's time to stop all that and focus on you. You can do that w/o being mean, angry, blaming or shaming... You are taking care of yourself. It does not require her approval.
