I’d set a six month timeframe initially.

I’d commit six months to continuing my own personal developments and improvements (the ones she has noticed). You need to keep doing that and get much better at it. Seek regular, personal counselling.

The second reason is not to open your heart up again until she’s proven for six months that she’s going to do the hard work to correct her mistakes and prove she’s committed to the marriage. If you open your heart up again, you could potentially get crushed all over again.

Six months for you to solidify your changes. And six months for her to prove she’s really committing to the marriage. At this early point, I’d be very cautious - it’s quite possible that OM has just proved himself to be an idiot, and now she doesn’t want him, she’s coming back to plan A for some safety.

If you open your heart and let her straight in, she will instantly feel safe and secure - and will be on the prowl for OM#2.

Once you both succeed at the first six months, then after that is the time to start talking about couples counselling.