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I came on here to tell DnJ about this trees podcast I am listening too. Jaw dropped seeing you had posted. Will write more soon but I think I tried to tell you a few times (not here but in that other land we found each other in) that I thought you still loved W or that something was off in there if you were so seriously dating someone without being divorced. So I am really glad you had all these realizations, you HAD to uncover all this in order to move forward.
I do not think W is going to get married. I think that thing will fizzle, whether they marry or not. I don't think she's done. I think she has to be a fiance, not a GF, to legitimize moving in together.
A few years is a blink of an eye. The longer time goes, if she is actually coming out of MLC, the more obvious it will be that SJohn was the catch she had already caught. Or she won't come fully out and ends up marrying him and that house built on sand will wash away. That's my prediction but obviously just musings.
I don't know what will happen obviously, and I don't know if it's too late to restore but it's interesting that you are still married, it is definitely not insignificant to this journey for either of you.
Also what you describe about the marriage pressure is a big no no no. I would never in a billion years pressure a man to marry me or move in with me. I haven't even gone on a date as you know though I would love to go out for dinner ONCE with a really nice smart guy who actually wanted to talk to me for an hour -- but the point is, I would never ever insert myself in his life in any way and in fact would just want to enjoy company without any pressure of entering each other's lives like that precisely because of my kids. I wouldn't want anything to impact my time with them at all, or to make them hang out with someone I liked if they wanted to just be home relaxing, etc. So I think your instincts on that were really good and I am really proud of you for being strong about knowing you needed to heal. That's so good and brave of you not to plunge forward just because you felt love and enjoyed her company! Think of how you've grown!
I'll write more soon. Sending you a huge hug.
P.S. I thought of you when I saw the tic tac ufo videos and the recent congressional hearings, and I really want to know what you think about all that!
