Completely agree here MA, how good are DnJ and Kind and all the other vets and their advice. Really almost holding our hands through this. I would safely say you are an inspiration too, I often read your posts too and try to inspire myself to follow suit as you are a few steps in front of me and of similar timeframe.
It’s amazing how once you learn to detach a bit you can really see the relationship in a better light and find all the things we kind of “put up with” that really affected who we were as a person too. They really can drag us down without us realising. I too was like you and felt I would just put up with the behaviour which now in hindsight I didn’t like and deserved a lot better from a partner.

So proud of you for realising H needs so much work in order to be worthy of your love again