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...Not a lot has changed. ...I just don't trust that our R is real. Does that make sense? I suppose deep down I know that sweeping everything under the rug will come back to haunt us...
You can create the change. You have had the wake-up call. Working on the R is a never ending process. If you are in piecing, than the two of you should be having some R conversations. ( I have not gone through piecing, so someone else may be better qualified to elaborate). If not in piecing, you keep up the DBing.