Kind - thank you for that. A bit of tough love and a kick in the pants. I guess I deserved it and needed it.

Yes - 100 percent a PA is a deal breaker. I can positively say that. I couldn't go back to her after that. I'm hanging on by a thread as it is. I suspect the EA and may be looking into things too much regarding the PA. I hope it hasn't happened but if I find out, then its game over. I asked her and of course she denied it but some parts of me think she'd tell me. She already told me several vicious things already so I almost think she'd relish in the thought of telling me. Thats what the alien is like.

I'm making plans to do something Saturday night without the kids.

To answer a few questions - I was in counseling for 2 months when this started and it didn't help me at all so I dropped out. I think I'm going to sign up for the DB coaching on here. Its cheaper and would probably be more effective.

I lost a lot of weight because when I stress, I don't eat. I lift weights 4-5 times a week and have for years. I love it and even through all of this, I still do it. It more effective then a counseling session for me. I honestly look as good as I ever have with my shirt off. A little loose skin on my waist for abs are showing. I don't have the muscle mass I had 10 years ago but I'm more defined.

I need to get rear end in gear and starting doing me. I know it. I need to get out more and do more things. This has lasted months and I haven't really done anything other then a two times going out with some friends.

Thanks again for the response. You spent a lot of time on it and I appreciate it.