I too have been in this situation with my H tete. It’s so amusing the way they keep bringing up the past. Tete there will come a time where you will get so sick of apologising. As MWD article on forgiveness says, it’s the best gift we can give ourselves. Forgive yourself for your past mistakes. My H too did the same thing and refuses to forgive for the past and thinks it’s an act and everything will revert back. I learnt very quickly that this is just a tactic because they need something to hold over us to avoid their own issues and insecurities. I can’t provide you with the most amazing words as I am very early in on my own McL H but all I can say is you need to stop letting him drag you down into his mess and start taking your power back. Focus on you. Read DR and re read it and read forums and re read advice and then one day something just clicks and all of a sudden you realise you need to let things go and start loving you.